We all have an inner critic.
This is just my personal opinion, but I honestly don't believe that he ever goes away. We can get good at ignoring it, at not letting it move into the driver seat, at telling him to go take a walk.
When I went into recovery, I didn't even know which one of the two voices in my head was me and which one was my inner critic (IC). It's clear to me now that there are two separate "beings" (I literally visualize two different people inside of my mind, I have even named them!) inside of my head and this has really helped me have a non-toxic relationship with my inner critic, AKA Odillia.
I wanted to write a a quick post on how we can get better at dismissing our IC. Like I mentioned, I don't think there's a way of killing him off (unfortunately) but there are some great tools out there on how to silence his voice.
First off, you must accept that an IC inhabits your mind. Once you do, you'll have to take some time in identifying him within your thoughts - this is easy when you figure out that pretty much all negative self talk you hear inside of your mind is coming from your inner critic. Your IC is not trying to destroy you, it actually is trying to protect you. However, I don't think anyone has given him the memo that negative self talk will only breed low self esteem and fear though.
Once you acknowledge that your IC is present, here are a few statements you can always pose to him:
- So what?
- Who cares?
- Big Deal!
- Why not?
Be rest assured that this will make you see things from a different perspective much quicker than listening to your IC or ignoring him. The goal is to ensure that your authentic self does not believe any of the crap that your inner critic is saying. Making anything he says true will only damage you. He can make you truly believe things about yourself that are 100% false and those things can turn into long term limiting beliefs (those are hard to get rid of!).
So, there you go!
I'll leave you with a quote I love:
"Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone's mean to you all of the time."