Baggage

It's there. It weighed me down.

Until I got determined. Determined to not let my baggage define me. And I ran.

I ran fast. Until I hit the dreaded wall.

I looked back and felt the load was so much lighter. Lighter but still there.

Lighter but still haunting me and wooing me back.

Anger took over. And sadness. And fear. And hopelessness.

Mostly anger though. It was paralyzing.

I walked backwards. Thinking and believing that I shouldn't have ever ran.

Who do you think you are?

Months, days and hours went by, and during it all, I caught myself feeling it.

The self sabotage. The desperate need for love and approval. The fear of being rejected. The fear of change. The fear of succeeding. The fear of failing. 

THE FEAR. And a glimpse of hope. 

It's there. My baggage. It weighs but it doesn't have to weigh me down.

Afraid; I run.